A little bit about Me...

When you're young you picture what your life will be like when you "grow up".  I always imagined going to college, getting married, buying a house and having kids.  It's funny how your view of how it will be is quite different than how things end up.

When I was 11 my parents split up for the second and final time. I am the oldest of 3. It wasn't easy being the oldest. My mom worked 2 jobs and most days I had to come home to take care of my brother and sister. Don't get me wrong, my grandparents, etc. helped out a lot with us, but when I was a teenager I had to find someone to watch my siblings so I was able to go out after school with my friends. I now look back and realize that I got to spend a lot of time with them and if circumstances were different I would've missed out on that! I have a lot of good memories :)

After I graduated I took a year off to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I attended a local college for about a year and a half. When I was 21 I met my son's father. We started dating and things seemed so perfect. He was kind, respectful and a great guy. It wasn't long after that I became pregnant with my son. When I was about 3 months along his dad turned into a completely different person. He was mean, verbally abusive and pretty much treated me like dirt. I was heartbroken. I couldn't understand how he went from this great person to someone I didn't even know.  When my family found out I was pregnant the first thing my grandpa wanted was for me to get married. All I kept thinking was I can't marry this guy. This wasn't what I wanted my child to be when he was older. I went to talk to my priest one night and he gave me the best advice and I'll never forget it. He asked me if I would get married without the baby? I answered no. He said then don't get married because of the baby. I'm glad to this day that I didn't because although him and I were meant to bring this beautiful little boy into this world, we were not meant to be together forever.

I had my son right after I turned 22. His dad played the part for awhile and "did the right thing" as his mom called it. When my son was a few months old his dad began doing drugs. We were fighting all the time and weren't happy together at all. The last straw was when he shoved me. I took necessities, and my son and I went to stay at my moms. The next day while he was working I went to our apartment and moved all of our things out.

His dads drug use became drastically worse. He was stealing things and didn't care who he hurt in the process. He actually robbed his own parents house. He went in and out of rehab and after a few years he finally seemed like he might be drug free. One night we had an argument and he broke into my house and hit me while I was holding our son. He spent a few months in jail for what he did to me. Soon after he met another girl, had another baby and treated her worse than he ever treated me. I believe people can change but it's only when they want to.

I have been a single parent since my son was about 13 months old. I am very thankful for my family and friends, without them I don't know where I would be today. They were there to listen and give me advice when I didn't know which way to turn and when I just felt alone.


Looking back over the past 10 years there have been a lot of ups and downs. I lost both of my grandma's and I was very close to them. My dad's mom died while I was pregnant and my mom's mom died in March 2009. I miss their advice and how they always seemed to know how to make me feel like everything would be alright. Some of my best friends have gotten married, engaged and had babies...and there are other friends I have lost. My son had surgery and at that time I didn't think I would make it through it. It's amazing how strong you can be when you don't have any other choice. 


My son is 9 1/2 years old and in 3rd grade. He has straight A's and loves school. He is my everything. He makes every day better and makes me smile when I feel like I have nothing left to give. I love being a mom! It's who I was meant to be! It hasn't been an easy road but I wouldn't change one single thing.


Looking back to how I pictured my life when I was younger, I did some of those things...just not in the same order!! I'm not in a rush to get married. I refuse to settle and will wait until I know it's right. Simple things make me happy! For example: my son, the beach (I want to live there some day), my family, my friends, eating out, new socks, rainbows, sitting in the sunshine, swimming, going for walks, yoga, snow, my job, and many many more!  I'm very grateful for my life and for each and every person in it :)


So there's a little bit about me!! Next time it won't be so long lol! Oh and I wanted to include a picture of me and my little man!! It's one of my favorite's :)

Jackie